I have a gift…this uncanny ability to see problems everywhere I go. It’s almost the first thing that I see when I walk into a room. I don’t necessarily try to see them…I just do. I always have. It doesn’t seem like a gift until you see it through the scope that I am made for resolution. I love finding resolution in everything. I love a steady, amicable, flow to everything. I am that person who is like “hey hey why can’t we all just get along.” That is totally me. I want to explain where the other person is coming from and what they mean and how we all can live in harmony. It’s kind of nice.
There is a down side though that I am learning. I have a tendency to make other people problems my problems. When people come to me sometimes to just talk through something, I have to work to just let them have a problem. I want to fix it so much. I want to make it better. I want to twist and turn and pull the world around on it’s axis so that we can find the peace and harmony. So that there is resolution. I used to blame my dad that I did that. I use to think it was because he and I didn’t have a lot of resolve in our relationship so I was trying to fix it with every other relationship that I had. After something like 15 years of dealing with the same thing, you kind of have to an about-face with your perspective. I am not trying to resolve things because of my daddy issues. I am trying to resolve things because it is how the Lord has made me. He created me to be someone who he can use to connect, to bring people closer to each other and closer to him. He has given me a gift.
Oh wait that is the good part, the part I like. It’s the other part that I started writing about that I wanted to focus on. The part where I have to cultivate growth and figure out how to be a resolver of problems, and not make others difficulties my difficulties. Where I don’t just grab and flail my arms around trying to fix other people’s problems. It’s not really a great time for them in the long run. It clips wings, it takes away from their ability stretch out their wings and catch all of the air that they can. I want to be a resolver who throws the bird in the air and watch their wings reach out to catch the air. I want to watch them soar in the glory of who God has made them. And I really want to do that not by solving their disputes and headaches for them but by equipping them to do it on their own. I get lost easy though. I catch myself just giving answers or just problem solving, or using many of my 20,000 words a day to just fix it.
I do it the most with my man child. I am horrible about just fixing it for him, or negotiating the issue with him. I talk when I should act. I stand and fight when I should just walk away. I do it with my husband. I do it with just about everybody I love, which is pretty much everybody that I meet. I do it differently with people depending on how intimate our relationship is.
I guess this is kind of turning out to be a confession of sorts. I am a fix-a-holic. A problem-solving addict.
There I said it. Isn’t that the first step to recovery.
Well here is to recovery. Here is to growth and maturity. Here is to being someone who helps people grow by teaching them how to solve problems. Here is to becoming the resolve that God designed me to be. Here is to not settling on being mediocre. Here is to being better.
My name is Katie and I am a recovering fix-a-holic.